50 Sentences  Gabriel
by madwriter223
Summary: AKA The Awesome That Is Gabriel.       That says it all, actually. No pairing, but lots of Humor.


**#01 – Swords**

The Middle Ages never failed to crack Gabriel up – all he needed to tell which knight wasn't that good in the size department were the swords; overcompensating much?

**#02 – Sorcery**

Okay, being burned on the stake for witchcraft was kinda ironic for him, even he had to admit that.

**#03 – Rogue**

Being a rogue Archangel rocked for two reasons: sex and chocolate, preferably both at the same time.

**#04 – Parti-colored**

Gabriel stared at this world colored brown and grey and white, and decided it was high time someone reminded the Puritans there were other colors in the world.

**#05 – Divination**

"I see in your future a short, witty man, who shall kick your ass to the moon and back."

**#06 – Pillory**

With a single snap, the scapegoat was freed from the pillory, and installed in a new home along with his family on the other side of the county; in his place stood the real culprit, and boy, was the mayor not happy about his new 'position'.

**#07 – Chant**

It took all of Gabriel's considerable self-control not to burst out laughing when the witches that had summoned him started doing some weird-ass chant to chain him to their will; maybe he should point out that chant only worked on trolls?

**#08 – Castle**

King Arthur was the embodiment of Captain Oblivious, especially when it came to his wife and Lancy, but Gabriel had to admit, the dude had some pretty comfy beds.

**#09 – Brocade**

Sometimes, for no reason whatsoever, you shut up, Gabriel would march over to the nearest children's oncology ward, snap his fingers, and rain brocade all over the little kiddies' heads.

**#10 – Priest(ess)**

"Yeah, I'm kinda in the mood for some man-meat tonight, so that'll be a no to the virgin priestess sacrifice, 'kay?"

**#11 - Dark Knight**

A snap of fingers, and the infamous Dark Knight's underclothes were suddenly infested with very insistent fleas and lice; if Gabriel hadn't been an Archangel, he would've laughed himself into a coronary at the sight of the dude trying desperately to scratch himself through an armor that refused to come off.

**#12 – Evocation**

"Look, I was kinda busy with very kinky, very busty identical triplet nymphs, so could we just wrap this up, people?"

**#13 – Market**

Gabriel walked leisurely through the human market, his darling daughter holding tightly to his hand as she asked a question after a question.

**#14 - Ordeal by Fire**

The sunset-sky looked as if it was on fire, and Gabriel never could deny Sleipnir the opportunity to run against it.

**#15 - Ordeal by Water**

Gabriel floated in the water, laughing to himself as Jörmungandr swam circles around him with gleeful little screeches.

**#16 – Dragon(fly)**

Gabriel grinned widely, careful to keep silent as Fenrir tried his very best to stalk a dragonfly.

**#17 – Giant**

Okay, so maybe shacking up with a giantess wasn't that bright an idea, but look how cute their kids turned out!

**#18 – Trickster**

One couldn't just become a Trickster – one had to be born with a particular brand of _awesome_ to be one.

**#19 – Dungeon**

"You should have seen the dude's face when his torture devices kept turning into rotting fruit and squishing in his hands."

**#20 – Scroll**

Who knew burning the enchanted scrolls he had stolen from some arrogant sorcerer could make a purple bonfire that sparkled?

**#21 – Elemental**

Apparently, elemental sprites _really_ didn't like when someone changed their elements, but it was _so_ funny when a fire sprite tried to burn him into a crisp, and ended up drenching him in rain instead.

**#22 – Ale**

"Drink, Northman, or you die." "I don't suppose you have any piña colada, by any chance?"

**#23 – Stew**

Was bringing a guy's soup back to life a little much?... nah.

**#24 – Staff**

A priest called him out of his warm, comfy bed in the middle of the night, into the freezing cold, threw some magic around and ordered him to go slay all of his enemies, and you people are surprised he'd mojo-ed the guy's staff up his ass?

**#25 – Lore**

Being an immortal being could be kinda boring sometimes, but Gabriel just amused himself by popping all over the place, and livening up the lore a bit with a little something he called 'scaring the shit out of the locals'.

**#26 – Artifact**

His Trumpet had left the Heavens along with him, and it changed its form to match the century they were in according to its own sentient will; Gabriel still laughed himself silly when one day he woke up and the thing was a vuvuzela.

**#27 – Guild**

"No offense, Raven, but I don't think starting a guild of Tricksters is a good idea ... well, because we'll just drive each other in yet another prank war, and you remember how the last one ended."

**#28 – Lantern**

When it was getting dark, and the lanterns weren't yet lit in the city, Gabriel had to restrain himself from jumping out of the shadows and yelling 'BOO!' at passers-by; even if it was amusing as Hell, it was well below his standards.

**#29 – Chest**

Captain Black-Beard's eyes widened so much his fake eye popped out when he realized the treasure chest he spent years finding was filled with chocolate coins.

**#30 – Alchemy**

Gabriel always thought humanity's version of alchemy was a boat-load of horse manure, so that's exactly what alchemists got when they tried to transmutate something into gold.

**#31 – Potion**

Maybe Gabriel should rethink attending this whole sorcery-convention; he was one vendor trying to sell him a potion that'll 'make him tall' from turning all of their concoctions into rat piss.

**#32 – Doppleganger**

Yeah, Gabriel wasn't sharing the glory of being him with no copy-cat 'shifter.

**#33 – Arrow**

Gabriel stared at the arrow embedded in his shoulder, then threw a rather dead-pan look at the Robin Hood wannabe, "If you were aiming for the figurative apple on my head, you kinda missed."

**#34 – Map**

We'll see how smug that pirate will be after Gabriel messes with his map; make Gabriel walk the plank, will he?

**#35 – Coin**

"Hey, Charon, mind giving me a ride? I don't have any coins on me, but I do have a nice little porn mag ... I knew you'd agree."

**#36 – Crusade**

Gabriel turned to his fellow Tricksters, and said with full seriousness; "Gentlemen, the crusade to locate chocolate is afoot."

**#37 – Witch**

Most of today's witches were a pathetic bunch – too pretty and too whiny; seriously, bawling their eyes out when Gabriel just added them a few warts and a crooked nose.

**#38 – Duel**

Gabriel always won the duels he was challenged to, even if he had to change his opponents weapon of choice into a fish.

**#39 – Boots**

"Bad dog! No peeing into Daddy's boots while Daddy's having kinky, kinky sex!"

**#40 – Chalice**

Okay, so he got very drunk, and kinda lied his ass off about a chalice he had created, and then _lost it_, but he can't really be blamed for it suddenly transforming into the whole myth of the Holy Grail, can he?

#41 – Offering

"Wow, an offering of three quadruple-layered chocolate cakes covered in strawberry ice-cream with chocolate sprinkles? You people know me so well."

**#42 – Sacrifice**

Sometimes, sacrifices had to be made, like for example giving up his not-really-needed-but-wholly-appreciated sleep to watch an all-night monster movie marathon.

**#43 - Stained Glass**

Giant stained glass window + one bored Archangel = giant stained glass porn

**#44 – Diadem**

"No offense there, princy, but you look like a gay sex nymph in that diadem, and a retarded one to boot."

**#45 – Epic**

Gabriel was the embodiment of epic, admit it.

**#46 – King**

Teasing the King of the CrossRoads is just too much fun, even if Crowley now tries to stake him on sight.

**#47 – Servant**

Gabriel got pretty sick of people trying to bind him to their will rather quickly, that was why he changed the next dude that tried into a fake butt and sent him in the apartment of a very lonely and sex-starved pervert.

**#48 – Fae**

Can we say 'sex marathon that lasts for a month at the least'? Yes, we can.

**#49 – Prophecy**

"Prophecy, shrophecy. If you think I'm gonna let you destroy the only planet that has chocolate on it, you're crazier than half-wilted tree nymph in the middle of the desert that has an itch he can't reach."

**#50 – Destiny**

Gabriel knew his destiny, and he wasn't going to deny his destiny; which was bringing awesome to the grey masses of the world, of course.


End file.
